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Tuesday, November 27, 2007
27th nov 2007
I'm going to Hong Kong tomorrow, really early flight, like a little before 7am. So have to wake up real early. Gosh, need my sleep.
AND, best of all *DRUM ROLLS*, I'm going to JAPAN!!! Yeps, on the 30th!
This IS holiday~

Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Mooncake Clones
The below story is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed are used fictitiously, or is it? *hint hint*. Please do not sue me. Thank you.
I was looking through my hong kong friends' Facebook when I spotted a girl in my friend, Joyce's album that resembled LIM TZUMI to the CORE!
I mean like, how common is it to find someone in this world that looks REALLY like you. One in a million chance man!
So I photoshopped their pics, requested Tzumi to pose exactly the same as her clone and I adjusted the angles and such. And the results... we shall see.
BUT, before that, here's a touching story of the Mooncake Clones...
*curtains draw open*
*Spotlight turns on*
Here we go...
Reminder: This story has 1283 words. Prepare a cookie and a cup of coffee...

"MOM! Where is my Barbie doll?!!!!" I screamed, opening a row of drawers and throwing its content out mercilessly, in hope of finding my childhood treasures --- my complete collection of Barbie dolls. These dolls have much sentiment value to me. I remembered that my parents bought me one for every birthday. And I am like 15 now, going on 16. Do the math, you know how many priceless dolls I've got.

Just as I thought I have found a Barbie doll hand that I have had missing for at least 3 years, a brown envelope stuffed with sheets of paper till the corners broke caught my attention. My attention tunneled in on it as I reached out to grab hold of the antique dust magnet. It was outrageously dusty. Looking at it in disgust, I gave it a few hard pats. Clouds of dust erupted into the air and I waved my hands frantically. It was futile as I coughed and choked.

Overwhelmed by curiosity, I forgot that the dust was fighting for supremacy in my nostrils and my gullet and attempting to make me choke, but instead opened the mysterious envelope. I was surprised it did not crumble into dust.

I glanced into it. Pieces of paper. Pieces of aged yellow paper, was all I see. Wait, there is more. Something laminated; something glossy. It is a picture, or rather a photo.

This isn’t me. My face is loads rounder and my eyes way more minute. This definitely isn’t me. I place the laminated photo closer to my eyes. The size of my eyes probably affected my visibility for it became blurrer the closer I place.

Just then, my mother stormed into the room, bellowing at the top of her voice, her nostrils flaring wide "EH TZUMI AH! FIND YOUR DOLLS DONT HAVE TO MESS UP THE WHOLE ROOM RIGHT!!!???"

Then, she paused. She stood rooted to the ground. She was looking at the brown envelope filled with unfathomable content. Her jaws dropped.

After a moment of awkward silence in when I still couldn’t figure out what exactly was happening, my mother regained her composure.
She murmured in a voice so soft I was shocked. She never spoken in such a soft voice, this was the first time I heard her speak in such barely-audible noises.

"Tzumi, I know you must be shocked," she murmured. I almost couldn't make out what she said.

Puzzled, I looked up at her, struggling to make my eyes appear as huge as possible so that I wouldn't seem so stupid to not to be able to understand whatever it is happening and replied, "Huh? What's so shocking?"

"Mooncake, I know this is hard to accept but you still have to. I was planning on when I should reveal this secret. And now I know this is the best time. Your father has always said this is a 不能说的秘密, but I feel it's only fair that you know your past, whether its happy one or not."

I kept silent. I sensed the seriousness in her tone and I know this was not a joke. My family and friends somehow love to play mean little jokes on me. The problem is, I always play the joke with them. Maybe that's why they love to play mean little jokes on me. I nodded my head to signal for her to continue revealing my past.

She gulped down some saliva, as if what she was saying is going to be as long as my small intestine.

*er hmmm* She cleared her throat and said in a rather fluent voice, "Okay, listen up. I am not related to you..."
"MA! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT??!!!" I cried in angry protests.
"No, you idiot. As in, not related by blood."
"Then how are we related?" I questioned, attempting my wide-eye trick.

"That's the message I'm trying to convey. WE ARE NOT RELATED...," she paused and afraid that I might go into a burst of angry protests again, added on, "not related by blood as in."

"T..then how do you know me???" I asked.

"Can you for once shut your mouth and let me finish. I am trying to create suspense but you keep breaking it!!!" my mother's eye flashed.

My mouths closed instantly and an imaginary zip locked them into place.

"As I was saying, noisy brat, we aren't related. I aint your biological parents. Your biological parents are called...," she reached out for my envelope and removed a laminated birth certificate, "Forkay Rupeah and Babara Oh. They are your real parents."

I wanted to open my mouth to comment on how familiar the names were but my mother's glare zipped my imaginary mouth zip close. I listened in suspense.

"They are from China, I think they're from Hei Long Jiang. They bore you and another kid..." she continued but was interrupted by my sudden exclamation.

"I have a SIBLING?!"
"IN case you didn’t know, you always had one," she replied, rolling her eyes as she pointed to a photo of me and my brother, Tzu Chieh.
"Oh ya hor. Then I shall say, OMG I HAVE ANOTHER SIBLING!!!!???"

"That's more like it. And yes, you have another sibling, a twin in fact. She's in Hong Kong. This is her recent photo," she said, pointing to the laminated photo I was clutching, the photo that I initially thought was myself.

"SO THIS ISNT ME??!!!" I exclaimed.
"Obviously," she replied in sarcasm.
I did the wide-eye trick again.
"NO WONDER! I where got so FAT?" I screamed.

"Let's not talk about size now, Tzumi. Size never matters. Your parents, Forkay and Babara live in poverty but desperation for you know, had Babara pregnant with a pair of twins. They told me their days were pathetic. Babara did not bathe for 2 whole weeks and smelt like puke. Forkay wasn't better off. He worked as a labourer, always carrying heavy loads of dog bones and toys. But he got sacked for he was accused of stealing. Life was tough, so they said. Babara did give birth to the both of you, two healthy chubby babies. But fate dealt them a wild card, for Forkay had for himself a mountain load of unpaid gambling debts. Babara was upset but she knew she had to do something to help her beloved husband. She decided to sell her hair. The scene where her hair got chopped off by a wood axe was terrifying she said. Forkay was worst. He decided to sell the twins away," my mother said.

Tears welled up in my eyes as the cruel past seeped into my brain juice.

"But Forkay can't find buyers for both of you. At that time, China was having a one kid per family policy. More than one kid, pay tax. Nobody could have afforded to pay that kind of tax. They had to sell you both separately. No more Buy 1 Get 1 Free deal. Alas, he did find buyers, one a Hong Kong merchant and the other, me."

"I know this is hard to accept but you still have to. I will give you some time to swallow this down. Don't take it too hard. Okay, you get me?" my mother said, "Tzumi, look at me, open your eyes and look at me!"

"I AM!!!!!" I screamed.
"Oh, sorry. Your eyes are so small they seemed close. Okay, please accept it. You have to."

I nodded my head. My brain went blank and I closed my eyes (yes I AM CLOSING IT) to attempt to imagine how my parents looked like. My parents who abandoned me. My sister who looks like me...

Oh... touching wasn't it. It is funny if you realise the links in the story. But if you don't, nevermind.
Just compare and contrast this.

Monday, November 12, 2007
12 nov 2007
Hehe, yesterday was my birthday!!! I am FINALLY 15 =)
Actually we planned to meet at 12.30pm at CP then go to East Coast Park but they came knocking at my door at, say 12.15? Surprise!
I was using the computer and that time and I was wondering if they were those pesky salesperson who always INSIST for you to buy their crappy products, which are mostly, USELESS!
As I was approaching the door, I heard Lishan chuckle, I think so. I knew it was them even though some hand, which I believed belonged to Lishan too, was covering the poor peep hole, who almost suffocated under the serious lack of oxygen.
So I opened the door and they presented me a colourful box and 2 cards.
I unlocked the door, let them in and read the cards.

The 1st card had logical content and VERYYY nice pictures. No, there is no sarcasm, because if you compare it with the DOWNRIGHT DISGUSTING ones the other card has, this, my friends, is heaven. Look at Stef in her sexayyee bikini. LOL. And Chee Kah Pui dancing LMAO. So hilarious

But no so much for the other card. You have just witnessed what happens to untrue things.
The person who made this card is mendacious. Tsk tsk tsk.
The picture in the "camera" was supposed to be a VERY ugly picture of me doing a failed imitation of Kim.
And the bottom picture is SO DISGUSTING, I cannot possible find any words to describe its degree of disgusting-ness. ARGGGHHHH. Makes me nausea, just by seeing it.

This is the present they gave me. The contents was a mug, a water bottle, a Babara cage and =.= *drum rolls* 3 red pig panties I am NEVER gonna wear. More of a souvenir LOL.

After that, went to CP, lunched at Mac. When Tzumi and Stef ordered Happy Meal (LMAO!), the cashier opened his eyes wide and replied sarcastically, "Sorry Ma'am. We have an age requirement." Ok ok, fine fine, I was just joking.

After lunch, MRT-ed to Poton Pasir, took a bus to East Coast Park. Rented 3 double bikes, $8 for 2 hours. *shakes head profusely* Not cheap. I cycled with Lisung at first, we were relatively fast, But somehow there's one bike which can go really fast, one that goes really slow, and one that was in the middle. Mine was in the middle. Cycled for 2 hours, returned bike, Lisung and Tzumi almost late, got 10 free bottles of water instead of 6 (LOL), some which we used to watch our legs, which were covered with thick layers of dust. LOL make us sound like we were antiques. We ain't no dust magnet! I was just exaggerating. Our legs were just dirty.
Butt hurts.
Went to beach. You know they say when you look over the waters at the beach, it's never ending.

Like this?
Then how come this beach has mountains and countless ships on the other side?! LOL

You know what I mean?
We took many pictures =)
Lucky I am not in this jumping frenzy thing. Make you look like retards. Nice pic anw, coz I took it.
Smelly feet.
Palm trees with what's that, CRANES poking out from the other side of the "neverending" sea.

Emo pic. LOL
Building Babara Sand Sculpture Ok, after this, went to Parkway Parade by bus. Ate at the food court, took free shuttle bus home. =)
Thanks everyone fro everything!

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and disclaimers

Here are some reminders before you might want to start reading:
you see, this is A BLOG. or actually MY BLOG
so therefore i have this right to write ANYTHING i want
& may be too harsh or incorrect
too vulgar or too biased
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